I Saw Star Wars for the First Time at Age 44

At a 2nd Grader's birthday party!

Producer Julie here. How’s October going? Yesterday I spent a portion of a Zoom meeting holding a warm compress off-screen over my daughter’s left eye to ease her gooey pink eye. FUN!! We’re back in the full swing of new episodes. In case you missed it, listen to last week’s super fun episode of Parenting is a Joke with Michelle Buteau. And this week Alyce Chan gives us the secrets behind her social media success - paying her children!

Before I get to the meat of this week’s substack…

Warning: in this post there won’t be any enlightening observations or deep dives into Star Wars. In fact, if you really like Star Wars, you might not really like me after reading this. But, these are the big bold risks I take on The ‘Stack (do people call it that?) when attempting to focus on something other than the heartbreaking horror and atrocities of the real world.

I don’t remember actively avoiding Star Wars, it just never really interested me. I never enjoyed magic, wasn’t super into pop culture, and in high school I wasn’t looking for fantasy and escape. As a suburban kid who was lucky enough to be trauma-free and happy, I was fascinated by movies and shows with stories and relationships about people whose lives were far more interesting and complicated than mine. Like My So Called Life and Silence of The Lambs!

My husband also never saw Star Wars. We’ve both seen SpaceBalls several times, which probably says a lot about both of us.

But this past Sunday, at age 44, I sat in a rented out movie theater with a few handfuls of 7 and 8 year olds, and watched it for the first time.

When I told Ophira (host of Parenting is a Joke) that I’d never seen Star Wars and there was this upcoming kid’s party and I was debating staying to watch or going to drink a fancy coffee alone, she persuaded me to go. “It’s a fantastic movie! A classic! There is no other strong female character like Carrie Fischer as Princess Leia, especially in that time period. It was before CGI so the special effects are all models and paintings - it’s very cool. You’ll appreciate it!”

And just to remind you, readers and listeners, Ophira’s husband is obsessed with Star Wars, her son is named Lucas. Yes, for that reason.

Given the party started at 9a on a Sunday, many parents chose the drop-off option. But not me!!! I figured why not experience this monumental rite of passage and cultural phenomenon before my coffee has fully hit, in the second row of a small theater, surrounded by a sea of 2nd graders in pajamas! 

Maybe I was looking forward to a little escape.

Two important details: 1) The movie was A New Hope. 2) I basically missed the first 20-25 minutes of the film. 

I was preoccupied and distracted with assisting children since I was one of the only adults that stayed. There were 2 dropped apple cider donuts, a bathroom trip assist, two kids doing cartwheels in the aisle, a side game of tag and at least 8 requests for popcorn despite being told there would be no popcorn. So, I probably didn’t settle into actually watching the movie until 25 minutes in, at which point someone’s big sister (maybe age 10?) sat next to me. I think she assumed I could be a source of information and comfort. She was wrong.

If I was to write a review of the film it would be: WAIT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING?!!!??? What’s the opposite of micro-dosing: macro-dosing, major-dosing? Doing a LOT of mushrooms???? That’s sort of what it felt like for me.

Every 10 minutes or so the child next to me had a question: What are the names of the planets? Are those dinosaurs or lizards? Why do the lightsabers sound different in this movie than in other movies? Is Chewbacca an alien or pet? Which one is Obi Wan Kenobi?I had not a single answer for this child. But we did squeeze hands during the terrifying scene in the trash compactor with what seemed like a killer eel?!!!

I acknowledge it was an insane way to experience a film that is so significant. I can absolutely appreciate the special effects and Princess Leia. The lightsabers did sound very cool, too. But a serious question, how did people track and remember the names of these planets and these creatures? My 7 year old son enjoyed it and easily recalled Tatooine and Aldernaan when I asked him about what planets they were on. I had to ask the birthday girl’s mother which one was Luke Skywalker.

Would I watch another installment? Not with a classroom of small children!!!! But, maybe? The escape from reality was pretty nice. Ophira said to avoid the one with Jar Jar Binks. WHATEVER THAT MEANS!!!!!