Meal Hack! But Not Really...
This is not a recipe; it's a state of mind.
Welcome back, listeners and readers! Producer Julie here!
We’re losing our minds here at Parenting is a Joke as things are heating up for parents as the swelter of summer scheduling descends upon us. Were you also just informed that there’s a baseball game on Thursday, an awards ceremony next Monday, Field Day next Wednesday, oh - and there’s no school Friday because of a clerical day. I was hoping that was a clerical error but NOPE. Another day off school right before all the days are off school.
We rebroadcasted an earlier episode of Parenting is a Joke this week, with creator and star of Workin’ Moms Catherine Reitman. If you haven’t heard it, treat yourself!
When I sat down at my computer to refresh my memory of what camps January-Julie signed the kids up for, I wasn’t thrilled with the gaping chunks of unscheduled time in the calendar. Despite my manifestations, it looked like I was NOT getting off the waitlist at the enriching nature camps I tried to sign up for, so I panic-enrolled the kids in a few random camps with spaces left. When I told my twin 6-year-olds they were now signed up for two weeks of tennis camp, they said, “We don’t know how to play tennis,” to which I said, “Good news! You’re about to learn!”
In the chaos of this crunch, grocery shopping and cooking have been irregular and uninspired. I still put some effort into my children’s meals, but with schedules being wacky, my husband and I had a few nights in a row of either Thai takeout, cereal, and “put whatever is in the fridge into a tortilla and melt cheese on it.” I actually like cooking, but not when I have 4 minutes to figure out a meal.
But yesterday when I realized I still wouldn’t have time to get to the grocery store, I thought, “Why am I saving the food the kids don’t eat in the fridge for them not to eat it again the next day? It’s wasteful. Instead, I’m gonna treat myself to some FRESH FOOD SCRAPS TODAY!!!”
Breakfast - I dump the kids’ picked-over strawberries and bananas that were “too sour” into the blender with yogurt one child didn’t eat because she “only likes the other strawberry kind now” plus the orange juice that was “too cold for my teeth” and BOOM - breakfast smoothie. I would have totally spent $7 for this at a juice bar!
Lunch - I only had 10 minutes in between work calls, but luckily, I saved the peanut butter and banana sandwich that no one ate on Sunday because the bananas were “too brown” - I put a dollop of Nutella on top and warmed that sucker up in the toaster oven and felt like I was at a Parisian creperie. Bon appetit!
Dinner - This is when the magic happened. I made my kids noodles, a hot dog, and some veggies. Unappealing combo to me, an adult, but when I found a can of rosé behind the milk, (score!) I was motivated to spruce up the scraps.
I grabbed the extra noodles, the pile of “too squishy” vegetables each child moved from their plate to their placemat, and chopped up the hot dog my daughter wouldn’t eat because it was “too spicy” - I threw it all in a bowl. I added essential toppings: crushed red pepper, the hidden good olive oil, lemon (the juice and the mother fucking zest), dried parsley (likely expired), a hunk of feta, and some Maldon salt. Now it looked like a meal I would make for myself! (I pretended the hot dog was fancy Spanish sausage). Deliciosa!
The quicker the glance, the better it looks. I finished the whole bowl and would have considered seconds if there had been any leftovers left. The satisfaction of not wasting any food that day AND making 3 somewhat balanced meals (with not much time and energy and groceries) made me forget that I had just eaten a bowl of cold noodles with pieces of a hot dog on top.
And for your hungry ears, listen to Parenting is a Joke. We’ll have new episodes next week!